Farewell to an estranged father

To this unforgettable man, my first tutor, life is the greatest teacher.

You want to survive out in the streets, he once scolded me, then you better learn how to fight.

He taught me how to box.

If you decide to fight, he then stressed, make very sure you don’t run away.

That was his way of emphasizing that life is a never-ending combat: You give some, you take some—you can’t win them all.

Pray, but don’t beg even from God, seek His graces instead.

Be humble and ready to make sacrifices.

* * *

On Sunday, Dr. Fernando C. Trinidad Jr., a successful young physician, posted the foregoing lines from Mandaluyong City as part of a tribute to his father, who departed from this world by way of Los Angeles, California, on Oct. 25:

“My memories of him were mostly of how he would be fixing the trucks that we used to have. He would, on a daily basis, sweep the street in front of our home, de-clog the canal/sewers, care for a menagerie of pets we have had through the years. He loved animals in all forms. I woke up in this world with a coterie of feathered friends at home. In our tiny pocket garden, he maintained a big cage for a handful of budgerigars (noisy little parakeets). I have good memories of him hand-feeding those and cleaning their nesting boxes when they had babies of their own. He loved taking charge of school projects. He loved taking me and my two sisters to the movies, although he cared only for the last full show. I could go on and on, but everything ended yesterday when he expired at 5 p.m. (Manila time). He had been in and out of hospitals the last six months. His smoking had wreaked havoc on his once imposing frame. He was too willing to send a son to medical college but would not subject himself to tests on what ailed him. He was a conundrum. He was my father. We had led estranged lives for more than two decades and the reasons were not dealt within my ranks, but theirs. I finally found my way back into his life not too long ago and I am at peace.”

The young physician was also heartbroken.

He was given the chance to sit by his father during the uncomfortable California hospital stay.

Much as he had wanted, he could not apply anything of what he had learned.

“Tatay, I am sorry for failing you. I love you with all my heart and I hope that when my time has come to cross the rainbow bridge to Valhalla, you would be there to hold my hands and help me in my transition together with all the pets we had cared for.”

* * *

Fernando “Ding” Trinidad, 75, eldest of five sons of the late Councilor Macario C. Trinidad of Mandaluyong, was scheduled to be cremated Wednesday in California, where he had sought employment, sacrificing and risking his dignity, to try and continue supporting his family.

He was my Kuya, my original mentor, my boxing and swimming instructor, a charming man of the world who would not be caught dead dancing.

There are plans to ship his ashes back for a memorial mass at the San Felipe Neri Church, before being interred beside his parents in the Mandaluyong City Cemetery.

Our sincerest thanks for your prayers.