Pacquiao, P-Noy & Damaso: Setting the record straight

NOTHING to worry, the Pacman is doing great.
In fact, Manny Pacquiao didn’t have to throw a single lightning left hand to register a win ahead of his Nov. 13 clash for the world super welterweight title against Antonio Margarito after he spearheaded the vastly successful 10.10.10 Run For the Pasig on Sunday.
“He’s in great shape,” confided a sharp-eyed broadcaster who stuck close to Pacquiao when the Filipino boxing superhero jogged at the Rizal Memorial Sports Complex early yesterday morning.
Well, not as terrific as he should be when he climbs the ring against Margarito, said the same informant following his latest check on Pacquiao.
“But there’s no reason why Pacquiao, the way he has been training, can’t be a hundred percent—or even much more— for his Nov. 13 fight in Texas,” said the broadcaster.
In fact, it could be a problem if Pacquiao hits peak form this early, he added.
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Nothing to worry, President Noynoy did great in his first 100 days in office.
Sorry, folks, but that’s not from a very reliable informant.
That amusing assessment was courtesy of P-Noy cheerleaders, led by no less than the President himself.
You see, in order to make sure that the public did not miss the point, President Aquino congratulated himself still with yet another sizzling slogan:
“The country is all set for take-off!”
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There were many other more objective views on the President’s first 100 days.
“No, he’s not exactly like a coach who ended up working a championship match armed with shallow basics,” said one former P-Noy admirer.
At least he seemed to know what good governance is all about, the source tried to assure.
What’s the problem?
“Nothing much. P-Noy, the way his Cabinet combinations have turned sour, was not unlike an amateur who boldly assumed a professional job, took over the national kitchen, not knowing the ladle from the pot.”
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Turning to another topic, one nationalist, multi-awarded author and fire-breathing professor of literature turned his guns on the Church, in support of the celebrated Carlos Celdran, who was detained by the police following his intrusion into sacred Church territory recently.
Let’s share this crackling, brandy-fueled sermon from the author’s college cave:
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“To a die-hard fanatic of basketball, what Carlos Celdran did during an ecumenical Mass at the Manila Cathedral can be likened to a monstrous in-your-face slam dunk. Straight from the angry pages of Rizal’s ‘Noli,’ the greedy, lecherous, pot-bellied Padre Damaso once again loomed large in our nation’s memory.
“Amidst the brouhaha, the words of the great Mahatma Gandhi, pioneer of nonviolent civil disobedience (as a form of political protest), echoed in one’s head: ‘Christianity is a failure because it has never been practised.’
“Review the annals of the Christian faith. What unspeakable crimes, what inhuman and unchristian punishments, what incredible seasons of mass death and destruction have visited the planet in the name of Christ?
“Religions are huge breeders of intolerance.  But make no mistake.  One has got no quarrel with Jesus. He’s cool, superstar, though clad only in dirty pajama-like threads and dusty sandals.  He’s the classic NPA (no permanent address), no imposing cathedral over him.
“But look at our church grandees who utilize the name of Christ—perfumed, riding in limousines, billeted in air-conditioned edifices. They do not suffer the hell of extreme poverty which is one of their sacred vows (together with chastity, but see how many children around the world have been victims of lustful Churchmen!)
“Down with the Damasos in or out of the monolithic Church. In a nation gripped by extreme poverty, widespread hunger, unemployment, etc., the superannuated beliefs and policies of the Catholic Church must be buried with the Damasos of yore. The suffering masses welcome you, Carlos Celdran!”

AVE PEREZ JACOB 
Free-PUP, Sta. Mesa, Manila